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If the Church Does Not Believe in Divorce, why can't couples live together?
The Church today does not believe that cohabitation is the moral or acceptable way to prepare for this sacred bond of Holy Matrimony. Rather the church sees this practice as a threat to the happiness that the engaged couples seek, and a threat to the eventual marriage that they might enjoin. Virginity is, contrary to Hollywood and despite peer pressure and even ridicule, still a respected and expected holy way to approach a marriage. What has become commonplace today in the way of living together would have been considered scandalous years ago. The fact that this is a common occurrence does not in any way, make it acceptable by the Church, who maintains that it threatens a sacrament that is meant to last a lifetime.
Cohabitation does not lead to the kind of committed relationship that the Church asks of our couples seeking marriage. The sacrament of matrimony should be approached with dedication, love, and the assumption that the vows spoken are a lifetime commitment to another human being. Yes there are many reasons that young couples chose to start their lives together in this way. The idea that two can live cheaper than one is a reason that is often used; "We can save more money, if we live together, We can try this out and see if it will work for us." There are many other seemingly valid reasons which have not stood the true test of time. Not only is it morally wrong, but living together before marriage also jeopardizes the relationship in a serious way. In 1992, the National Survey of Families and Households found that in 3,300 families, married couples who had lived together first, were judged to be 46 percent more likely to get divorced.
Research shows that the quality of life for couples living together is far lower then those of married couples. These cohabiting couples report lower levels of happiness, sexual exclusivity and satisfaction. These negative aspects of living together do not bode well for a long term, stable, happily married relationship. There is no commitment placed on either person in this trial run relationship. The idea behind this trial is that if life gets tough, divorce is an option. Incidentally, there is a higher rate of depression and physical and mental abuse among women in these relationships.
The Church considers cohabitation not only morally wrong but a threat to society in that it erodes one of the basic institutions of common life: holy matrimony.
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